Becoming Confident
- Jul 18, 2020
- 6 min read
A lot of people are sad, depressed, stressed, and have very low confidence. This really damages your brain and the short life you are living feels like it isn't worth living. Of course you are worth it! Of course you matter no matter your creed or color. You didn't choose how you look and function but you should be proud of it anyway because there is only one of you.
Right now may be a hard time with the pandemic and all this racial injustice but stay calm. Take this time to learn who you really are and comfort yourself. Learn and grow to love yourself. This is definitely a journey I still am taking and I bet lot of you are too. No one is perfect no matter how good they look or act. Learn to embrace your mistakes.
A quote by Robert Morley (now my favorite quote) is "To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness." That is so true because a world without self love is a world of admiring other lives and forgetting your own. A world without self love is a world of no purpose. A world without self love and worth is a world that needs to be changed so you can make the most out of this short life. Let me tell you some ways you can do just that.
Accomplish Your Goals
There is nothing better than being proud of yourself for accomplishing something you wanted to do. Whether your goal was to lose weight or getting a job, be proud because remember that yoo said you wanted to do that and you did! How great is that? You are proving to yourself that you really can do things even when times are hard.
By setting goals and accomplishing them you have more faith in yourself when times come for similar situations, making you more CONFIDENT in those times. So, try to set and accomplish your goals to have a smile on your face.
Don't Care About Others' Opinions About You
In my experience and knowledge another reason for lack of confidence is letting others live in your head. What do I mean by that? Well, when some hater says something about you and you let it in your head and tell yourself it's true. Baby, don't care what they say because you have a mouth too and you can say it back. Remember "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
I have seen this a lot in teenagers, they become really upset that someone said something rude about them. But you have remember that haters want you to get hurt so that's why they do it, that's why they talk about you. It makes them feel good that you are being affected by their words. Here is a video about bullying that will explain the truth by Brooks Gibbs:
Don't Compare Yourself to Others
Sometimes it isn't someone else hurting us, rather it is ourselves in disguise. When you look at other people's pictures and admire them whilst making yourself lower, you are damaging your self esteem. It is okay to admire someone else but remember they aren't "better" than you.
It could be on social media or people at school, don't compare people to yourself and remember there is always someone you may have lower than you. A good proverb to remember is the grass is greener on the other side bur really its the grass may SEEM greener on the other side. When you say that you wish to be like someone else, they may be thinking the same thing about you. You may not notice it bu the people you say you want to switch lives are sometimes in worse states than you are.
Take Care of Yourself
If you really want to increase the feeling of self love and worth, properly take care of yourself. When you reach the point to where you are fit physically and fixed mentally, you will be so proud and love yourself. Most of the time people are sad about how they look. You need to understand that you can actually control how you look if you take care of yourself. How do you "take care of yourself"?
Physically
- workout
- drink lots of water
- maintain a healthy, balanced diet
- take care of your skin
- sleep early, wake up early
- relax yourself
Mentally
- remove and avoid toxic people
- have someone to talk to about your feelings
- think positive
- notice good features about yourself
- get over your fears
- talk good to yourself (coming up)
Self Talk
Self talk is so effective, whether positive or negative. A person who talks negative about themselves find it hard to find something good about themselves, cry to themselves, increase in hatred towards themselves. I can tell you this from experience so, yes people can understand you. While a person who talks good about themselves, increase in self love, find ways to make something less appealing appealing, see crazy times funny times, and way more happy.
By talking bad about yourself, you're becoming your own worst enemy. YOU NEED TO STOP! How will you grow if you continue to talk to yourself like this. Talk good about yourself, it will make you happier because in the end of the day, you are living one life that is yours. You have to make yourself happy, try not expect it from others.
Who Should I Talk To ?
Someone you trust. Don't go around telling how you feel or what's upsetting you to people you don't fully trust because they can use it against you. Find real people who understand your hurt. Look for family members to trust first because they tend to understand more even if you think they don't. Remember they grew up with you, raised you, and know you like no one else. At the end of the day, they are the ones you come back to for food, shelter, and (most importantly) love. Try to make them understand because if you try to look towards others, friends don't always stay friends but family always stays family.
In some cases depression and anxiety is actually from the family. If that is the case, find a friend to cheer you up but you don' t have to tell them personal things. But mainly, TALK TO YOURSELF. Not crazy talk but you are the only one choosing to be sad, is that really the right choice? People can talk all they wan but you are the one triggering the blues. It is only you in this life and in that grave, YOU live your life, YOU pick yourself up when you are down, YOU be happy.
Respect Others Not Just Yourself
You don't want to turn over confident and rude, so learn to respect others s well. People will also respect you and find it hard to harm you. When you respect a person and compliment them, they will like you and you can make more friends and people you can trust.
Be Social
I really do know how hard that can be for some people, I really do. But, you have to try and join clubs, volunteering, programs, and other things like that to learn about the world and people around you. When you are social you have people to talk to and things to talk about. I remember having to be alone because I didn't know a lot of people in different places and when I had someone I didn't have much to talk about.
This doesn't mean get involved in drama because that will always come back to haunt out and you will get depressed by something that happens when things go wrong. Don't distract yourself from what's important but being around new people in new places can really boost your mental state.
Things to Remember
You are living your OWN life
People can't control how you feel or what you do
Respect yourself and others
You are more than you think you are
You are unique, there is literally no one like you
Life isn't always fair
You are definitely not a mistake
It's a bad day, not a bad life- Khalid
Only you can wipe your tears in the end of the day
You can do it.
You aren't on this earth to please someone else
Life is short, be happy
You have a superpower, superhero
This is your life, remember that
You are so worth the life. <3
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